Take a moment and picture yourself going somewhere: maybe you’re heading to dominate at work or to educate yourself at school. You could be just stepping out to make an appearance on the streets or maybe you simply stepped out for a self-care walk and some fresh air.
You didn’t put much thought into your clothes, or maybe you did. You could be modestly dressed, you could be scantily clad, you could be in a full burka or a bikini – whatever outfit you were feeling after you rolled out of bed to grace the world with your presence. Which is a gift, by the way.
You’re minding your own damn business, making your way, completely focused on your destination and the task at hand. Maybe you’re wearing headphones, jamming. Maybe you’re wearing shades and a snapback. But maybe you aren’t.
Whatever it is clinging to or hanging from your body, your facial expression says, “I’m going somewhere. My day has a purpose which I am simply trying to fulfill’. Maybe you’re deep in thought, contemplating how you’re going to kick ass today. Maybe you’re thinking about food (*raises hand*). Whatever your musings, imagine they are suddenly halted by the sound of:
“Hey beautiful, where you going?!” from someone who begins to follow you…
or maybe it was…
“Dayum, you sexy as f*ck!!!”
“HEY, WHAT’S YOUR NAME?” shouted from across the street.
Maybe it was simply the honking of a car horn and whooping from the open car window.
I like to think it’s called “catcalling” because it’s equally obnoxious as the yowling of cats at night.
Now, many of us have already experienced this and know the drill, but in case you haven’t or you’re in need of a refresher, let’s go over a few things:
- That person is blatantly disrespecting you – therefore, you owe them nothing. Someone chooses to yell something in reference to your body while your walking down the street? That’s on them, not you. You don’t owe them a polite, awkward smile. You don’t owe them a “thank you” for their “compliment”. You have no obligation to stand there and suffer through their idiotic utterances, uncomfortable, annoyed and wishing you could walk away. Simply, turn…and walk away. If you want to rip them a new one for speaking to you that way, SPEAK UP! Who needs inside voices when there are “What the hell did you just say to me?!?” voices? You don’t owe them courtesy or respect, because they sure as hell didn’t show you any. You owe them nothing.
- If you don’t want to smile? Don’t. It’s your face and you determine the position in which your lips will be. You want to spend the day perfecting your resting bitch face? Girl, practice makes perfect. You want to Disney Princess it and smile at every little bird, bee, and flower in your path? Get it – spread your magic. Be comfortable. Be you.
- You’re clothing did not dictate their behavior – they’re just an ass. Clothing. Is not. Consent. By wearing that adorable skirt you found on sale, you are not now holding a sign that says, “Sexual Comments Welcome”. By covering every square inch of your body, you are not asking for advice on how you could change your wardrobe to show more skin and be more “in” with today’s trends. Fashion is self-expression and is not an excuse for random stranger to act like a disrespectful dumbass.
- Their opinion of you does not change the fact that you are a Queen. Nothing that comes out of the mouth of another person can tarnish your crown. Hold your head high. You are a masterpiece in motion, each detail exactly as it was meant to be. No one else in the world is like you – cherish yourself! You have too much to accomplish and too much joy to find to be worrying about some idiot who was so awestruck by you that they blurted out whatever thought entered their pea-sized head.
- Care For and Protect yourself. Let me say it again for the people in the back – you are precious. You are unique. You are literally one in billions (even if you have an identical twin, or two, or three…). Do not sell yourself short by being unprepared for what could happen. Watch out for yourself and for those you care about. Notice where the exits are in buildings. Think about taking a self-defense class and/or buying a self-defense tool and learning how to use it effectively. If you feel you are in a situation that’s over your head, do not be afraid to whip out that phone and dial 911. You are not a victim, but there is nothing wrong with being proactive in your own safety and well being.
And really, try to feel sorry for them. You are a unique, precious, badass work of art. When confronted with your glory, they were stupefied, not knowing what else to do besides utter some idiotic disrespect in an attempt to start a conversation with you or to spend a moment in your gaze. Have pity on them. They have to live their lives living without the glow of your radiance. It’s quite sad, really…
Mars, signing out. ◊