I long for the companionship of women.
Strong women. Self-aware women. Opinionated, supportive, “woke” goddesses – to do face masks with, to group chat ideas on ways to fight the patriarchy with and to pour unending support into.
Girls that are down to go out and do a photo shoot. Girls that would happily come over for a tea party and Netflix binge in our pajamas. Ladies who are always growing, choosing to live drama free and learning to be their best selves, one day at a time. I’ve only ever been able to keep male friends around for some inexplicable reason, but how I yearn to be surrounded by the gender I identify with.
I mean, how would you go about finding these unicorns, if they do even exist? As a matter of fact, how do you go about meeting anyone, these days?! As my life inches nearer to the quarter of a century mark, I realize how little I relate to the people my age. Granted, I live in a college town – beer pong, sake bombs and a night getting plastered at the bars seem to be the only things socially accepted as “fun”. But surely, there must be people who seek more. Right?
People who’d like to go try out a Tai Chi class or…go to game board night at the comic book store. Drive to Boomers for mini golf or take a day trip to L.A. on a whim. With the size of the population on this planet, the chances of these mythical creatures existing would seemingly be high, but where are they?
Must I go on some epic quest to find an enchanted ram horn bugle that summons them?
Or perhaps I must put an ad out in the personals: Unconventional-Feminist-Activist-Sincere-Spontaneous Female Seeking Squad.
Does that make me sound crazy? Antisocial? Desperate?
My inability to naturally attract “comrades in arms” has always given me the sense that I am somehow, damaged goods. That isn’t exactly untrue, seeing as we all bear our own scars, in one way or another – but how frustrating it is, to so desire people to be close to while being so incapable of forming those connections.
Maybe it is a skill I will be able to learn in this new year.
However, ladies (or anyone really), if you’re reading this and thinking, “Wow, I have that same exact problem…”, allow me to extend a metaphorical hand.
Hello there.
I’m Amara, but you’re welcome to call me Mars.
Would you like to be friends?
Mars, signing out. ◊
Call Me Mars 
Hi Mars, I thought girls are from Venus 🙂 It’s great to hear you are in search of your dream sisterhood. Be on your way and let’s make this life meaningful. This is not of that patriarchy line, just from a friend 🙂
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Well, this one is Mars haha. I appreciate the encouraging words! Thank you so much. I hope you find things to make yourself meaningful as well.
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In the 80s and 90s, I was part of a circle of women self-named the SOWWs – Society of Wild Women. It was an amazing time of my life. Women bonding can be a powerful thing. Good luck to you!
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That! That is exactly what I’m looking for!! How wonderful, that you had that sisterhood in your life to lean on. I appreciate your sharing with me. 🙂
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There is a certain bonding that happens amongst women that cannot be duplicated with men, unfortunately.
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I’ve only had successful friendships with guys. The two women that I trusted as friends both betrayed that trust and took advantage of me. But I’ve always longed for the kinship of women.
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Yes, that happens. Sadly.
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You’re not “damaged” my dear, you’ve just been through your own battles and come out of the other side…and gosh it feels impossible meeting likeminded people sometimes…It sometimes feels like a long game of hide ‘n’ seek that stopped being fun a long time ago….sounds cliche’ but I guess you do have to put yourself out a bit more, travel when you can…or if you don’t like going out then places like this (the bloggersphere) can be good places to meet people…or unicorns, as you nicely put it 🙂 ❤
https://thegrlwhoblog.wordpress.com/
x
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You’re such a sweetheart! Thank you for the encouraging words. I have been trying to get out and participate in local events, though I’m most excited about the friendships I’ve been meeting on the bloggersphere, as you said. I’m having faith in this time being a period of transition!
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Aww that’s good to hear you’re going out a bit…well if you ever need to talk or are bored/whatever, I’m here 🙂 ❤
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Thank you~
I’m here for you as well! It may not be physically present but I’ll happily be the most supportive entity on the internet 😅
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Hello, Mars! I think you are an interesting, beautiful, and deep person. I too long for communion with soul sisters. I do believe great things happen, even magic, when enlightened and empowered women (aka Queens) come together.
Like you, I have known betrayal from someone I trusted and called my friend since we were teens, who was like a sister to me. It happens. The pain is natural, but time will lessen it, and soon, you will realize that it doesn’t matter as much anymore.
Finding true friends, especially women who will support and love you for who you are no matter what, takes time and lots of wisdom from life experiences. I wish you luck in your journey to find kindred women.
If you’d like to talk about anything (unicorns and sisterhood and goddesses), I blog at https://theconstantpilgrim.com. I can be a friend. 🙂
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I’m learning a bit more everyday and still searching for my “tribe”. Your words are very encouraging – thank you so much for the insight. I appreciate your offer so much and please know I would happily be a support for you as well, even if it’s just through a screen. I will certainly follow your blogging escapades!
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